so-called problem pages…

Yesterday I was flicking through some godawful trashy women's/celeb magazine, when I came across the problem page. A woman had sent a letter asking for advice regarding her partner's porn addiction. She said that he had hundreds of videos and images stored onto his computer and - even though she had told him that it upset her - he refused to delete them. She also mentioned the fact that she thought he watched them when she had gone to bed at night time and that this especially distressed her as she thought they had a healthy sex life.

And the agony aunt's advice?

"His porn has been around longer than you have. Stop being so jealous and get over it".

I mean, who cares that this woman is clearly upset and distressed! Who cares that she feels betrayed and demeaned! Of course, what this so-called expert thinks is most important is that the boyfriend keeps his precious porn stash. After all, dear, if you start complaining then he will think you're an old prude and he'll start looking elsewhere for a younger and sexier replacement girlfriend…!

The women reading these magazines are already likely to hate themselves and their bodies, no matter how 'empowering' they believe the magazines to be. In that particular issue I was flicking through, I'd already seen pictures of 'celebrity bikini bodies', who's got fat and who's got thin, Kerry Katona going on about how she's not depressed anymore because she's gone from a size 10 to a size 8, page after page of women attacking other women… And after all that, a fucking "expert" tells you that you're a jealous prude if your boyfriend's porn makes you feel sick inside.

I felt like shouting out to the woman who had sent the original letter "That isn't your only choice! You don't have to shut up and let him have his way! If it upsets you, then you tell him that either his porn goes or you do!"

I'm fed up of us women being told that if we don't like porn then we must be frigid, boring, bad in bed, jealous, paranoid, old-fashioned and just not cool.

hooooray!

If you haven't already read it, I'd like to point you in the direction of the latest post at Laurelin In The Rain. Not only has she posted an excellent critique of the terrible and frustrating Kate Taylor article in The Guardian, but she has actually recieved word from Ms Taylor herself who states "I wanted to tell you that I have been humbled and shamed by your comments on that article. You’re absolutely, 100% right…"

This is fantastic news. Not just for Laurelin, but for all rad-fem bloggers. It just goes to show the power that an intelligent argument holds!

misogyny sells, people!

Teri Hatcher, the actress who stars in Desperate Housewives (don’t worry - I don’t watch this shit) and who used to be in The new Adventures of Superman a few years back (saldy, I’m afraid I did watch this) has recently admitted to Vanity Fair magazine in the US that she was sexually abused by an uncle as a child.

Abuse is, of course, a very serious matter and I applaud Ms. Hatcher for being brave enough to talk publicly about such a horendous past - however, I can’t help but feel that using a picture such as this one on the cover of the aforementioned issue of Vanity Fair, is extremely distasteful:

She is holding onto her clothes, her underwear is showing and - quite frankly - she looks pretty damn scared. But, at the same time, she has a tanned ’sexy’ body and is in full make-up. Just what are we being told here? That being sexually abused as a child somehow enhances Teri’s sex appeal? That only pretty girls get raped? That rape is sexy? That rape sells?

 I have no doubt that the actress had little to do with what picture appeared on the cover here, so I’m not blaming her whatsoever. The magazine decides what sells and what to do with the cover and, in this case, it appears that sexualising a story about child abuse is the editor’s idea to sell more copies.

The misogynistic media strikes again.

Just a few links

I was going to continue my new trend of bitching adverts, but found this and then this f-word article, which both get the point across quite nicely.

 Also, if you would like to vomit in your cup of tea, please let me direct you to BeautifulPeople.net. Apparently, ‘beautiful’ now means “up-your-own-arse”. And, dare I wonder, if you really are so astoundingly beautiful and such a catch, why exactly do you need to be on a dating site….? Surely you have people queuing up outside your front door! Alas, it is amazing what you can do with a digital camera and Photoshop these days… I want to rant about the fact that “beauty” is a purely subjective term, and that the current (READ: western and patriarchal) version of “beauty” is merely one that the media has dreamt up in order for us to ultimately part with more of our hard-earned cash to feed the greed of the multi-nationals…. But, I can’t be bothered anymore. Just read The Beauty Myth instead.

Gah, the Affleck/Lynx madness

It appears the fat-cats at Lynx have decided that men just can’t live without one if those fantastic clicker-thingies from the advert and so - brace yourselves - are marketing them at the masses.

Lovely.

What a stud.

I get pissed off with the majority of advertising as it is, but the latest TV advert for men’s deoderant Lynx is really getting on my nerves.

If you haven’t seen it, it comprises of “Hollywood hunk” (allegedly) Ben Affleck out and about town and keeping a record of the numbers of young women who ‘give him the eye’. At the end, he shows off his tally of female admirers to Average Nerdy Joe in an elevator, who - it turns out - actually has many more counts than Mr Affleck. Average Nerdy Joe has been using Lynx, obviously.

Now, Lynx adverts are pretty awful most of the time and so, frankly, this is just one in a long line of adverts by Lynx demeaning to women. But what really gets to me about this one is the way that female attraction is used as a game to find out who is the “biggest man”. Women are merely given the role of objects to boost the egos of men. We are offered the obligatory tits and legs shots, as the female extras are regarded simply as pieces of meat.

Some might say that the advert is just Ben Affleck mocking himself and his ’stud’ persona… BUT if that were true, then why have the Average Nerdy Joe also clicking his counter for each female who expresses interest?

I think it is the little clicky-device that really gets on my nerves with this one. The very idea that it is all a game, a competition; something that the biggest and best man will win. That a woman finding a man attractive has NOTHING to do with herself and her making herself happy, and everything to do with boosting the ego of males.

Not to mention the fact that Lynx smells bloody awful and I am yet to meet a women attracted by its odour.

Silly Old Bints

There’s a great piece over on the Beeb regarding the representation of older women in modern society, which also happens to have been penned by none other than my A-Level Eng Lit teacher from last year.

She raises a good point, as - in the media especially - there is widespread discrimination against older women (men also, though perhaps not as much). From just one sitting of television commercials (if I can manage that, as adverts make me famously nauseous) we are showered with images of young women freaking out at the sight of a wrinkle, as though they’ve heard a whisper that it’s the first sign of the apocalypse. Then, said women informing us of “so-and-so” lotion to “banish those unsightly signs of aging!”. My goodness! Because the very THOUGHT that we may be aging is horrific! In fact, I think I must GAIN a wrinkle everytime I see one of these frustratingly pathetic adverts.

The only time we ever see older women advertising products is when it is especially for them - for example stairlifts, over 60s life insurance, baths for the elderly, toffee, etc. But that is still a rarity, as how many times do you see pensioners on the covers of magazines aimed at that exact target group? In awful newspaper supplements which have adverts for thermal undies, elderly women’s nightgowns, etc - how many are actually modelled by women who look over 45? Not many.

If it wasn’t for the fact that I know that over 65s in the UK make up a whopping 16% of the population, then - judging by what the media tells us - I’d think we’d all gone a bit Logan’s Run.

 

Get Involved!

Following my last post about the lack of decent magazines available in the UK, I recieved a very welcome comment from travelling punk. She is looking for help in any form possible to develop a “non patronising magazine designed to interest and entertain rather than dictate and frustrate”.

Any help would be greatly appreciated - and I know there are plenty of intelligent, interesting, witty and downright fantabulous people out there who are bursting to get creative and get opinionated!

Pathetic Magazines & stockings and roses

You know what pisses me off?

The total lack of intelligent magazines for women available in the UK.

All of the monthlies/bi-monthlies/weeklies/crapplies look the same. Shit. Total and utter shit. And, god knows, if any one of these magazines were to even print the word ‘feminist’ - even in teeny tiny lettering - they would probably spontaneously combust into a massive fiery hell. Or that must be what the editors think, at least.

In the US you can buy Bitch, Bust or Ms magazines, yet NOTHING in the UK. Christ, even America is doing better than us here.

I’m getting fed up. I want to read a magazine. I want to be able to flick through a few glossy pages every now and then and read funny, interesting, insightful articles about issues that matter to me. And, quite frankly, if I have to walk past the magazine aisle one more time, grinding my teeth whilst biting my lip and trying hard to disguise the steam coming out of my ears, then I just may explode.

I found this and it amused me, but then I realised that much of the satirical articles could too easily be mistaken for “real” pieces in the trash that is out there.

Evangelical Madmen & diets and needlework

I’m glad that the likes of Pat Robertson and the rest of his religious right-wing buddies make me laugh. His comments are so ludicrous that even I cannot bring myself to boil up with rage.

re. feminism:

“a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

re. family planning:

“It is teaching kids to fornicate, teaching people to have adultery, every kind of bestiality, homosexuality, lesbianism-everything that the Bible condemns.”

re… what the hell? I don’t have a clue anymore:

“How can there be peace when drunkards, drug dealers, communists, atheists, New Age worshipers of Satan, secular humanists, oppressive dictators, greedy money changers, revolutionary assassins, adulterers, and homosexuals are on top.”

It’s so bad that it almost renders me speechless. Almost. The disturbing facts are that a) he has his own (no doubt enlightening) television series and b) that he has actually made a bid for US presidency. Meaning that some people are actually listening.

Oh, and one more little gem to see you off, straight from the lips of that charming evangelical madman Jerry Falwell:

re. who caused the September 11th terrorist attacks:

“pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU and the People for the American Way.”

That’s right. It was YOU, wasn’t it?

Fat Britain & sugar and light

If you were to scan across the magazine racks in newsagents or watch just a few minutes worth of adverts, this would probably come as a surprise. The fact is that there are more overweight and obese men in th UK than women. Yet, still, Weightwatchers blatantly targets women and - lo and behold - in those commercials for various low fat foods, I am yet to see one of those people squeezing into their favourite jeans to be male.

The pressure is constantly put on the women, whereas it is men who have the ever-expanding waistlines.

Only a third of overweight men would be motivated to lose weight even if being overweight affected their sex life

Yet, how many women force themselves into eating disorders as they feel ‘fat’ and ‘unattractive’ to their partners?

Lad Mags & daisies and perfume

This makes me very happy at the moment. Now, on the topic of censorship, I have a rather hazy stance. I like it somewhere in the middle - somewhere safe, whilst still retaining freedom of speech. It’s a prickly issue, as no one wants to live in a ‘nanny-state’, but at the same time the whole point of having authority figures is to protect the general public. So, I am not going to say “BAN NUTS MAGAZINE! BAN ZOO!” as, at the end of the day, we should all have the relative freedom to read want we want to. (Although, at the same time I believe we would raise a far more responsible and respectful generation of young men, were these magazines no longer available). But, I can still voice my disapproval over these so-called mens’ magazines (really, they are boys. I have to live in hope that real men are not so… sad) and especially when they are forced down my throat.

On a recent trip to ASDA (possibly on the way to stealing Kwik Save’s crown of ‘Most Scummiest Supermarket In The UK’. Seriously, not even Sharon Osbourne in the adverts can save them now), I was fairly shocked to see one of the lad’s mags weeklies - I forget which one, thanks to their generic style - featuring a large picture of two naked young women cupping one anothers’ breasts, displayed rather proudly within the newspaper stand at the very entrance of the store. Now, I’m no prude at all - but I can’t help but wonder what message this sends out to people. That lesbians are merely for the sole purpose of male fantasy? That women in general are just simple objects of male sexual gratification? Or that ASDA don’t give two shits who sees this - and let’s be honest now - softcore porn?

And, of course, the age old double-standard factor comes into play. After all, how much outrage would there be if a gay magazinea such as Attitude, were to be placed in the same position with two topless men embracing? Yes. Exactly.

So, it is refreshing to read that an extremely large chain, such as Tesco, is taking notice of this. There is freedom of speech and then there is responsiblity. After all, supermarkets are family places for buying your bloody bread and cheese, not your porn. And, may I add, a pretty poor man’s porn for that matter.